


e< Is not this a brand plucked out of the five ?" 
Zech. 3 : 2. 



THE 



STORY OF A PENITENT 



Lola Montez. 

-P 1 i 



" He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry 

clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. 

" And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our 

God."— Psalm 40 : 2, 3. x ~ 

,y of Co/)- 



PUBLISHED BY THE 

PROTESTANT EPISCOPAL SOCIETY FOR THE PROMOTION 

OF EVANGELICAL KNOWLEDGE, 

No. 3 Bible House, Fourth Avenue, New-York. 



1867. 



$}£&' 



-:•- 



Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 1867, by 

H. DYER, D.D., 

in the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the United States for 
the Southern District of New-York. 



JOHN A. GRAY J, GREEN, PRINTERS, 15 4 18 JAC03 STREET, NEW-YORK. 



Lola Montez. 



A brief outline of the life of the re- 
markable woman who is the subject 
of this little sketch is all that can be 
given ; and all that is essential to il- 
lustrate an added instance of the power 
of divine grace to rescue a sinner deeply 
dyed in guilt, and to minister to the 
truly penitent spirit that peace of the 
Lord "which passeth all understand- 



ing." 



Eliza Rosanna G. was born in Lim- 
erick, Ireland, in the year 1818, of 



4 Lola Montez. 

highly respectable parents. Her fa- 
ther was Captain G., of the British 
army, and her mother of Spanish de- 
scent. While she was yet an infant, 
her parents sailed for India, where her 
father died soon after their arrival. 
Her mother, having again married, 
subsequently became a resident of 
Montrose, in Angusshire, on the east 
coast of Scotland. 

Here Eliza, at the early age of five 
or six years, was placed at a boarding- 
school ; and incidents are related by 
a schoolmate, who was the intimate 
associate of her girlhood, which show 
that striking traits of character had 
begun to develop themselves in her, 
even at that early age. She was per- 
verse and willful, though at the same 



Lola Montez. 5 

time warm-hearted and impulsive ; and 
the severe treatment which was a part 
of the system of Scottish education of 
that day appears to have been most 
injudicious, and most unhappy in its 
effect upon such a temperament as 
hers. 

She was sent from thence to a con- 
vent in France, where her education 
was completed ; and afterward took 
up her residence in Bath, England, 
with her family. 

In accordance with the selfish and 
ambitious views of her relatives, it is 
said she was betrothed to a gentleman 
very much her senior, and entirely un- 
congenial. To avoid this unsuitable 
connection, she eloped with a British 
officer, and accompanied him to India. 



6 Lola Montez. 

After a brief experience of married 
life, a separation took place, and she 
found her way again to England. She 
had some further difficulty with her 
relatives, and determined to go upon 
the stage. This course completed her 
estrangement from her family, who at 
once disowned her, and put on mourn- 
ing, to signify that she was dead to 
them. 

Her striking histrionic talents and 
personal graces soon attracted marked 
attention. Followed by popular ap- 
plause, she visited the prominent capi- 
tals of Europe, was received at the 
royal palace at Dresden, and in the 
court circle at Berlin. 

At Munich she became the favorite 
of the weak King of Bavaria, over 



Lola Montez. 7 

whom she exercised a strange fasci- 
nation. She was created Baroness of 
Rosenthal and Countess of Lansfeldt. 
The king also settled a large estate 
upon her, with feudal rights over a 
population of two thousand persons. 
She became interested in politics, and 
a prominent intriguer at the Bavarian 
court. 

The natural kindness of her dispo- 
sition, her large sympathies and liberal 
tendencies, induced her to use her 
power for the good of the people. 
She is said to have shown wisdom 
and ability in its exercise, foiling, by 
her skill and audacity, the designs of 
Metternich and of the Jesuits. Her 
policy, however, excited the opposition 
of the Bavarian cabinet ; and the dis- 



8 Lola Montez. 

graceful course of the king precipitated 
the revolution of 1848. ' 

In the popular disturbances of that 
time she was driven from Munich by 
the revolutionists, and, in the disguise 
of a peasant girl, escaped into Switzer- 
land, where she found a refuge. 

Wonderful as had been her rapid 
elevation to the summit of her earthly 
prosperity, her fall was still more sud- 
den. Her estates were confiscated ; 
and having, like the prodigal of old, 
" wasted her substance with riotous 
living," she was reduced to a condi- 
tion of poverty and distress. The day 
of her extravagance and folly was, in 
its best aspect, but " gilded misery." 
As she expresses it in her diary, a 
" dark discontent" had been ever pre- 



Lola Montez. 9 

sent with her : and now, with blasted 
character and disappointed hopes, with 
no solace to be drawn from other 
than " broken cisterns,'' her reflections 
must have been bitter in the extreme, 
and her condition most pitiable. 

She soon went once more upon the 
stage, and seemed, in her desperation 
of feeling, to covet notoriety, regardless 
of the means by which it was attained. 
She became involved in difficulties ; 
and, after a variety of adventures in 
Paris and London, visited the United 
States, for the first time, in 1852 ; and 
for a while pursued a similar course. 

She remained in this country for 
two or three years, and then went to 
Australia. She afterward returned to 
the United States, which she now 



io Lola Montez. 

considered her home, and for the in- 
stitutions of which she had a strong 
admiration. She delivered a series of 
lectures upon various topics, which 
proved highly remunerative pecuni- 
arily ; but, with characteristic improvi- 
dence, she dispensed so freely as to 
lay up but a small portion of her earn- 
ings. 

It was upon the occasion of one of 
her last visits to this country, while in 
New-York, that she unexpectedly met 
the old schoolmate to whom reference 
has been made. 

A crowd of pleasant memories 
rushed upon the mind of this lady ; 
and, encouraged by her husband, who 
was with her, in the true spirit of Chris- 
tian charity, she addressed her. Sur- 



Lola Montez* n 

prised and gratified by the unlooked- 
for kindness of the recognition, Eliza 
G. at once reposed confidence and 
trust in her friend. 

Who may say whether the image of 
the Master, reflected in the conduct of 
these worthy Christian people, did not 
open the heart of the wanderer to bet- 
ter and higher impulses ? The Di- 
vine Master sought out and comforted 
the most wretched, and those whom the 
world in harsh judgment scorned and 
spurned, that He might shed a ray 
of heavenly hope upon their dark and 
cheerless path. Why should not those 
who profess His name thus strive to 
imitate this blessed example ? 

It can hardly be that, to a reflective 
and impressionable nature like that of 



12 Lola Montez. 

Eliza G., the wonders of creation and 
the indications of an overruling Provi- 
dence on every side, the aspirations of 
her immortal spirit, and its own high 
questionings, " Whence, and whither 
bound?" did not suggest solemn 
thought. Above all, that " still, small 
voice " — the whisper of the Holy Spirit, 
which comes to every human soul ; 
which she, like such multitudes of 
others, was willing madly to stifle, in- 
stead of cherishing with jealous care, 
as one of the best gifts of a merciful 
God — she appears now at last to have 
listened to. 

From this time she seemed to be 
impressed with religious truth, and her 
convictions were deep and sincere. 
She studied the Scriptures faithfully. 



Lola Mo7itez. 13: 

The glorious truths they reveal dawn- 
ed upon her soul, and, by the power 
of the Blessed Spirit, wrought in her 
that renewal of her inner being which 
manifested itself in a sincere and ear- 
nest effort to walk humbly with her God, 
and to follow closely in the foot-prints 
of her gracious Redeemer, in whom 
was centred all her hope of salvation. 
So far as outward actions could 
show, with her " old things had passed 
away, and all things had become new." 
With a heart full of generous sym- 
pathy for the poor outcasts of her own 
sex, she devoted the last few months 
of her life to visiting them at the 
Magdalen Asylum, near New-York, 
warning and instructing them with a 
spirit which yearned over them, that 



'14 Lola Montez. 

they, too, might be brought into the 
fold. She strove to impress upon 
■them not only the awful guilt of break- 
ing the divine law, but the inevitable 
earthly sorrow which those who per- 
sisted with thoughtless desperation in 
sinful courses were treasuring up for 
themselves. Her effort was thus to 
" redeem the time," so far as she could ; 
and the result of her labors can be 
known only in that day when she will 
meet her erring sisters at the impartial 
tribunal of the Eternal Judge. 

While thus laboring in the Master's 
•cause, and bringing forth the fruits of 
repentance in her daily life, she was 
suddenly stricken down with paralysis. 
But in this hour of helplessness she 
was not forsaken. God had raised up 



Lola Montez. 15: 

for her many Christian friends, who 
gathered around her couch, and re- 
joiced to minister to her necessities. 
The Rev. Dr. H., of the Episcopal 
Church, visited her frequently, and 
prayed and conversed with her ; and 
most acceptable were his ministra- 
tions. Refreshing, too, to his own 
spirit were his interviews with her, as 
she lay upon her bed of death, as he 
has narrated in his touching and in, 
teresting sketch of them. 

She lingered for a few weeks, much 
of the time in great suffering. But at 
all times there was the lifting up of 
the heart to God, and the expression 
of perfect resignation to whatever of 
suffering infinite wisdom and love 
might think fit to lay upon her. 



1 6 LgI<z Montez. 

Upon one occasion, when Dr. H. 
had been conversing with her, and was 
about to leave, she grasped his hand, 
and, with child-like eagerness of man- 
ner, exclaimed : " Tell me, tell me 
more of my dear Saviour!" 

Day by day her strength failed ; 
but her faith became firmer and her 
hope brighter, through a crucified 
Redeemer, in whom was all her 
trust. 

A short time before her death she 
motioned to a friend to sit by her 
and read a portion of Scripture, at the 
same time laying her hand upon the 
book ; and, while the word of life was 
yet sounding in her ears, with her 
hand resting upon her much-loved 
Bible, her spirit passed to the presence 



Lola Moiitez. 17 

of its God, "" accepted," doubtless, " in 
the Beloved." 

The kind consideration of Christian 
friends did not cease with her life. 
One of them, in a wintry storm, on the 
day after her decease — in January, 
1 86 1 — selected a place in Greenwood 
Cemetery where her mortal remains 
might repose ; and thither they were 
borne by those who had watched over 
her dying hours, and laid with the 
beautiful and consoling offices of the 
Episcopal Service. A plain marble 
tablet has been erected above the spot,, 
inscribed with her name, and the date: 
of her birth and decease. 

The little remnant of her property* 
amounting to a few hundred dollars,, 
she bequeathed to the Magdalen Asy- 



1 8 Lola Montez. 

lum, in which she had been so greatly 
interested. 

She left the fragment of a diary 
which, as illustrative of the depth and 
earnestness of her religious convic- 
tions, is appended, and is full of inter- 
est. It has been thought best to pub- 
lish it, with all its idiomatic expres- 
sions and peculiarity of style, as she 
left it. 



f 



RAGMENTS 



FROM THE 



Diary of Lola M 



Saturday, Sept. 10, 1859. 

It is good to write down every day what 
have been our thoughts and actions dur- 
ing the twenty-four hours. 

Oh ! may Jesus bless this endeavor ; and 
may I find, through His grace in my heart, 
on looking it over in the future, that my 
endeavors of leading a better life have not 
been diminished ; but that my soul may 
progress ever upward and onward to Him 
who is the divine centre of all peace, love, 
and true happiness ! 

With what gratitude ought I to give 



20 Lola Montez. 

thanks to Him who did not forsake me, 
even when walking in utter darkness and 
death ! I knew not, neither cared for, or 
thought of, His love. 

How many, many years of my life have 
been sacrificed to Satan, and my own love 
of sin ! What have I not been guilty of, 
either in thought or deed, during these 
years of misery and wretchedness ! 

Oh ! I dare not think of the past. What 
have I not been ! I only lived for my own 
passions ; and what is there of good even 
in the best natural human being! What 
would I not give to have my terrible and 
fearful experience given as an awful warn- 
ing to such natures as my own ! And yet, 
when people generally, even to my mother, 
turned their backs on me and knew me 
not, Jesus knocked at my heart's door — 
oh ! so gently ; but 'twas He alone ! and, 
in the deep, dark hour of my mental agony, 
which no mortal eye saw, my Saviour came 
to the darkest sinner, and brought a sweet 
light around me. 

Oh ! how long, long was He telling me 



Lola Montez. 21 

that I should come to Him. I was indeed 
" weary and heavy laden." O my Teacher ! 
I did come to Thee. Thou didst indeed 
give me peace. All that Thou didst say in 
Thy words of balm are true. Thou hast 
been too good to me. But I owed Thee 
much, and Thou didst forgive me much. 
My prayers to Thee, God of mercy and love, 
remain not unanswered. Thou surely dost 
cast comfort around my soul, in my lonely 
and unloved, uncared for earth-life. 

O my Master, my loved Saviour ! lead 
me, guide me, teach me, is my prayer. Be- 
fore Thee let me feel as a little child. 
What is my worldly knowledge in Thy 
sight — an impediment to get to Thee. 
What has the world ever given to me ? (And 
I have known all that the world has to give 
— all ! ) Nothing but shadows, leaving a 
wound on the heart hard to heal — a dark 
discontent. 

Now I can more calmly look back on the 
stormy passages of my life — an eventful 
life, indeed — and see onward and upward 
a haven of rest to the soul. I used once 



22 Lola Montez. 

to think, like many others, that heaven 
was a place somewhere beyond the clouds ; 
and that those who got there were as if 
they had not been themselves on the earth. 
But light has been given to me to know that 
heaven begins in the human soul, through 
the grace of God and His holy word. Those 
who can not feel somewhat of heaven here 
will never find it hereafter — though this can 
only be faintly indeed. 

We are told to seek and we shall find. 
All is true in that word ; but this can only 
be known to those who seek. 

O God of love and mercy ! bless my un- 
dertaking, and increase in me all good, for 
Thy honor and glory ! O Lord Jesus ! cast 
the devils out of me, as Thou didst from 
Magdalene of old ; and oh ! strengthen and 
preserve me against my sins. Let it not 
be that Thou didst die for me in vain ; but 
let me lie, O Lord! forever at Thy feet, 
blessing Thy holy name. Amen. 



Lola Montez. 23 



Saturday. 

Looking back on the past week, though 
guilty, and sinning but too often in thought, 
word, and deed, I find that my earnest 
prayers have been answered, and that the 
Lord has indeed preserved me from temp- 
tation, and delivered me from evil ; but 
still, how far, how very far, I am away from 
Him ! But I will cry unto Him, and He 
will deliver me. 

I am afraid, sometimes, that I think too 
well of myself.' But let me only look back 
to the past. Oh ! how I am humbled ! 

To-morrow (the Lord's day) is the day of 
peace and happiness. Once it seemed to 
me any thing but a happy day ; but now 
all is wonderfully changed in my heart. I 
can well understand how David sang, in his 
joy and gladness, the praises of God. And 
yet he had not Jesus to go to as a friend, a 
brother, a God. This is my song of praise. 
Thou didst lead me from death to life. I 
was blind, and now I see. I was deaf ; 



24 Lola Montez. 

now I hear. What I loved before now I 
hate. But oh ! to leave Thee one moment 
is to perish. Oh ! that in this coming week 
I may, through Thee, overcome all sinful 
thoughts, and love every one. Keep my 
tongue from evil speaking and lying ; make 
me charitable in thought, in word, and in 
deed. Watch over me, dear Lord. Amen. 



Another week! and though of small 
importance as regards external events, what 
an eventful inner life has it been to me. 
What a hopeless state, were it not for the 
certitude of our dear Lord's help and pity 
for our struggles. What a perpetual dis- 
appointment of one's self. Oh ! how little 
of truth is there in the world's opinion of 
each other ! We only see effects, but are 
blind to causes. As for myself, He who 
said, "Come unto me," has surely helped 
my weak endeavors to live to Him during 
the past week. But yet I am now far from 
the path. How manifold are my sins, and 



Lola Montez. 25 

how long in years have I lived a life of 
evil passions without a check ! Bunyan's 
thoughts of himself are thus: 

" I find to this day seven abominations in my 
heart. First. Inclination to unbelief. Second. 
Suddenly to forget the love and mercy that Jesus 
manifesteth. Third. A leaning to the works of the 
law. Fourth. Wandering and coldness in prayer. 
Fifth. To forget to watch for that I pray for. Sixth. 
Apt to murmur because I have no more. Seventh. 
I can do none of those things which God commands 
me, but my corruptions will thrust in themselves. 
When I would do good, evil is present with me.' 

" These things I continually feel and see, and am 
afflicted and oppressed with ; yet the wisdom of God 
doth order them for my good. First. They make 
me abhor myself. Second. They keep me from trust- 
ing my heart. Third. They convince me of the in- 
sufficiency of all inherent righteousness. Fourth. 
They show me the necessity of flying to Jesus. 
Fifth. They press me to pray unto God. Sixth. 
They show me the need I have to watch and be 
sober-minded. Seventh. They provoke me to pray 
unto God, through Jesus Christ, to help me, and 
carry me safe through this world.' ' 

Oh ! if a good man like Bunyan felt all 
this, what effect must it have on a miserable 



26 Lola Montez. 

sinner ! But God never turns a deaf ear 
to the heart's prayer — oh ! never ! Jesus is 
more ready to hear than we to go to Him. 

Oh ! what a fearful spell has Satan over 
the world ! Oh ! what an awful cost it was 
for our Saviour to redeem the world ! Oh ! 
that I may at last be one of the redeemed ; 
and yet through what fiery trials I have to 
pass at every moment of the day. O Lord ! 
without Thee, I must sink ; for my nature 
is so stubborn ; it must be only Thee that 
can hold me up. Oh ! dear Lord, make 
my thoughts pure and charitable, and my 
actions will be the fruit. 

Dear Lord, compel my hasty temper to 
be controlled, and give me an humble heart. 
Oh ! what great gifts are these — an hum- 
ble heart ! And yet forever shall I pray to 
my Father until He hear my prayer. 

Thankful I am that I have been permit- 
ted to pray this day. Three years ago I cried 
aloud in agony to be taken : and yet the 
great, All-Wise Creator has spared me, in 
His mercy, to repent. Oh! give me the 
fruit of repentance ! This week I have 



Lola Montez. 27 

principally sinned through hastiness of tem- 
per and uncharitableness of feeling toward 
my neighbor. And yet how little am I, 
compared to those around me ; for they 
certainly have not committed the heinous 
transgressions that I have done. Oh ! that 
I could have only love to others, and hatred 
of myself! 

How is it that I feel so forgetful of Jesus 
in the day, and draw nearer to Him at 
night ? This I know not, but it is true ; 
and I feel sadly disturbed about it. I 
should wish to feel the same at all times ; 
but this as yet is not for me. But I will 
trust in God, who will hear my thoughts, 
for the sake of Jesus. Oh ! let me ever 
have that name before the eyes of my soul ! 

All that has passed in New- York has not 
been mere illusion. I feel it is true. The 
Lord heard my feeble cry to Him, and I 
felt what no human tongue can describe. 
Such feelings belong not to pen, or will, 
or words. The world cast me out, and He, 
the pure, the loving, took me in. 



28 Lola Montez. 



To-morrow is Sunday, and I shall go to 
the poor little humble chapel, and there will 
I mingle my prayers with the fervent pas- 
tor, and with the good and true. There is 
no pomp or ceremony among these. All is 
simple. No fine dresses, no worldly dis- 
play, but the honest Methodist breathes 
forth a sincere prayer, and I feel much 
unity of soul. What would I give to have 
daily fellowship with these good people ! to 
teach in the school; to visit the old, the 
sick, the poor. But that will be in the 
Lord's good time, when He thinks me fit 
for this happiness — that is, when self is 
burned out of me completely. 

O dear Lord ! will this ever be ? shall 
the love in my heart for Thee ever grow to 
this ? Shall all turbulent passions in my 
soul be hushed, and wilt Thou take up thine 
abode with me ? The lesson now given to 
me to learn practically is, first, learn to 
subdue thyself before thou canst be of real 
use to others. Thou, who canst do all 
things, Thou wilt do this in me. Qh ! let 



Lola Montez. 29 

me learn to bear with meekness all things 
which happen in my daily life. O Lord 
and Master ! may the next week be more to 
Thy glory ! May I live more to Thee in all 
things. May I feel all Thy love and mercy 
more vitally, and may Thy Holy Spirit 
strengthen me ! Amen. 



Saturday, in London. 

Since last week my existence is entirely 
changed. When last I wrote, I was calm 
and peaceful — away from the world. Now 
I must again go forth. It was cruel, indeed, 
of Mr. E. to have said what he did ; but I 
am afraid I was too hasty also. Was that 
following the precepts of our Divine Mas- 
ter? Oh! that I practised more of His 
teachings in my life ! If it were not for 
His love and forbearance, what must be- 
come of me ! Ought I to have resented 
what was said ? No. I ought to have said 



30 Lola Montez. 

not a word. The world would applaud me ; 
but, oh ! my heart tells me that for His 
sake I ought to bear the vilest reproaches, 
even unmerited. But I feel no anger in my 
heart. Why did I even for a moment ? Oh ! 
I must ever cry for help, until my own na- 
ture is subdued. I tremble to think of my 
utter weakness. 

Good-by all the calm hours of reflection 
and repose I enjoyed at Derby. But, O 
God of mercy ! let me ever pray to Thee in 
spirit. Let me ever struggle against in- 
ward sin. Let me feel my Redeemer near- 
er and nearer to me. O Lord ! forsake me 
not ! Give me life ! through Thee. Let me 
bless Thee in sorrow and in joy. Let me 
know Thy hand in all things. Cover me 
with the shadow of Thy power, and I shall 
be safe from the tempter. Oh ! hear rny 
prayer to Thee for strength against myself. 
Forgive me my faults of the past week ; 
and O dear Lord ! on Thy day (to-mor- 
row) let my heart be touched by Thy grace, 
that I may pray to Thee with fervor, be- 
lieving. 



Lola Montez. 31 

Oh ! my calm days at the cottage are 
gone, gone. But I will not look back. 
" Onward T must be the cry of my heart. 
O weary pilgrim! despised and rejected 
of all, look to nothing earthly for happi- 
ness or peace. This is to be found alone 
in the bosom of Jesus. O my dear Fa- 
ther ! watch over me in the Lord. 

O happy earthly father ! to have been 
taken so young from this world of sorrow ! 
And yet the Creator of all knows best how 
to dispose of all. Let me bow to His all- 
wise decree. O Lord ! my heart is sore 
afraid. Give me light. Leave me not. Let 
me suffer with joy any agony, rather than 
deliberately displease and disobey Thee ! 

Lord, Thy mercies are great to me. Oh ! 
how little are they deserved, filthy worm 
that I am ! Oh ! that the Holy Spirit may 
fill my soul with prayer ! Let me put un- 
divided trust in my Saviour, and let my 
rugged, lonely path (unseen by all) be 
radiant with light. 

Lord, have mercy on the weary wander- 



32 Lola Montez. 

er, and grant me all I beseech of Thee ! 
Oh! give me a meek and lowly heart. 
Amen. 



Reader, whoever thou art, if thou 
hast not yet found a refuge within the 
fold of the Good Shepherd, seek it 
without delay, and with thy whole 
heart.' Fear not to bring all thy 
burden of guilt and fears to a Sa- 
viours feet. Let no device of the 
evil one tempt thee to think there 
is no forgiveness for thee. All thy 
sins, grievous and aggravated though 
they be, can not outweigh thy Re- 
deemer's merits. He knows them all, 
for thou canst not hide any thing from 
his omniscient eye, and He has com- 



Lola Montez. 33 

manded thee to come. It is true that 
He can not look upon sin but with ab- 
horrence ; yet His love is infinite, and 
calls upon thee in tones of utmost 
tenderness to forsake thy evil ways, 
and to bathe in that fountain of mercy 
opened for sin and for all uncleanness ; 
to receive that renewing and sanctify- 
ing influence of his Holy Spirit which 
can renovate thy nature, and which He 
has declared He is more willing to be- 
stow upon the sincere supplicant than 
an earthly father is to bestow good 
gifts upon his children. 

Only believe, and whatever difficul- 
ties and stumbling-blocks appear to 
obstruct the way shall be removed. 
" Who art thou, O great mountain ? 
Before Zerubbabel thou shalt become 



34 Lola Montez. 

a plain." Only believe : and the God 
of this poor penitent, who brought 
her out of darkness into His marvel- 
lous light, and ministered peace and 
comfort to her sin-stricken soul, will 
do the same for thee; Only believe : all 
needed blessings shall be added unto 
thee, and thou shalt, with her, and 
with all the host of the redeemed who 
have come up from the miry clay of 
wickedness and through sore trials and 
affliction, be received into the blissful 
mansions prepared for those who love 
and serve God in sincerity and" in 
truth. 



Lola Montez. 35 

The following statement, referred to in the 
narrative, was made by the Rev. Francis L. 
Hawks, D.D., of the Protestant Episcopal 
Church, immediately after the decease of the 
subject of this sketch : 

It was in the latter part of the year 
i860 that I received a message from 
the unhappy woman so well known to 
the public under the name of Lola 
Montez, earnestly requesting me to 
visit her as a clergyman, and minister 
to her spiritual wants. She had been 
smitten down by a paralysis of her left 
side, and for some days was uncon- 
scious, and her death seemed to be at 
hand. She had, however, rallied, and a 
most benevolent Christian female, who 
had been her schoolmate in Scotland 
in the days of girlhood, and knew her 
well, had stepped forward and provided 



36 Lola Montez. 

for the temporal comfort of the afflicted 
companion of her childhood. The real 
name of Lola Montez was Eliza G., 
and she was of reputable family in Ire- 
land, where she was born. 

I, of course, complied with her re^ 
quest to visit her ; and saw her from 
time to time until she died — always 
in company with the excellent woman 
above alluded to, and in the presence 
of Lola's nurse. And I should never 
have written a word of this statement, 
had I not deemed it a duty to bear 
witness to the mighty power of the 
Holy Ghost in changing the- heart of 
one who had been a great sinner. 

In the course of a long experience 
as a Christian minister I do not think 
I ever saw deeper penitence and hu- 



Lola Montez. 37 

mility, more real contrition of soul, 
and more of bitter self-reproach, than 
in this poor woman. Anxious to probe 
her heart to the bottom, I questioned 
her in various forms ; spoke as plainly 
as I could of the qualities of a genuine^ 
repentance ; set forth the necessity of 
the operations of the Holy Spirit really 
to convert from sin to holiness, and 
presented Christ as all in all — the 
only Saviour. 

For myself I became quite satisfied,, 
and am now, that, as far as a poor 
mortal can judge, God the Holy Ghost 
had renewed her poor sinful soul unto 
holiness. I think she had been taught 
from on high, by a blessed experience, 
" the secret of the Lord." 

There was no confident boasting* 



38 Lola Monies. 

however. I never saw a more humble 
penitent, nor one more overwhelmed 
than she was by the thought that 
Christ's blood could save such a sin- 
ner as she felt herself to have been. 
,When I prayed with her, nothing 
could exceed the fervor of her devo- 
tion ; and never had I a more watch- 
ful and attentive hearer when I read 
the Scriptures. She read the blessed 
volume for herself, also, when I was 
not present. It was always within 
reach of her hand ; and, on my first 
visit, when I took up her Bible from 
the table, the fact struck me that it 
opened of its own accord to the touch- 
ing story of Christ's forgiveness of the 
Magdalene in the house of Simon. 
I spoke to her of Christ's gentle 



Lola Montez. 39 

pity and pardon to this poor woman. 
" Ah P she replied, " but she loved 
much. Can I love enough ?" 

If ever a repentant soul loathed past 
sin, I believe hers did. If ever a re- 
newed soul prayed fervently for the 
help of the Holy Spirit to keep her 
from all sin, for Christ's dear sake, I 
think hers did. 

She was a woman of genius, highly 
accomplished, of more than usual at- 
tainments, and of great natural elo- 
quence. I listened to her sometimes 
with admiration, as, with the tears 
streaming from her eyes, her right 
hand uplifted, and her singularly ex- 
pressive features (her keen black eye 
especially) speaking almost as plainly 
as her tongue, she would dwell upon 



40 Lola Montez. 

Christ, and the almost incredible truth 
that He could show mercy to such a 
vile sinner as she felt herself to have 
been, until I would feel that she was 
the preacher, and not I. 

When she was near her end and 
could not speak, I asked her to let me 
know by a sign whether her soul was 
at peace, and she still felt that Christ 
would save her. She fixed her eyes 
on mine and nodded her head affirm- 
atively. 

I thank God that I can believe she 
found forgiveness through the precious 
blood of Christ, and that her departed 
spirit rests in comfort in the paradise 
of God. F. L. H. 

• January 19, 1861. 



\js\ 



Lola Monies. 41 



"Aware, thou that SleepestP 

Eph. 5 : 14. 

Sinner, rouse thee from thy sleep ; 
Wake, and o'er thy folly weep ; 
Raise thy spirit, dark and dead ; 
Jesus waits His light to shed. 

Wake from sleep, arise from death ; 
See the bright and living path : 
Watchful tread that path ; be wise, 
Leave thy folly, seek the skies. 

Leave thy folly, cease from crime ; 
From this hour redeem thy time ; 
Life secure without delay ; 
Evil is the mortal day. 

Be not blind and foolish still ; 
Called of Jesus, learn His will : 
Jesus calls from death and night, 
Jesus waits to shed His light. 



42 Lola Montez. 



The Spirits Gracious Call. 

Say, sinner, hath a voice within 
Oft whispered to thy secret soul, 

Urged thee to leave the ways of sin, 
And yield thy heart to God's control ? 

Sinner, it was a heavenly voice, 
It was the Spirit's gracious call ; 

It bade thee make the better choice, 
And haste to seek in Christ thine all. 

Spurn not the call to life and light ; 

Regard in time the warning kind ; 
That call thou mayst not always slight, 

And yet the gate of mercy find. 

■God's Spirit will not always strive 
With hardened, self-destroying men ; 

Ye, who persist His love to grieve, 
May never hear His voice again. 

Sinner, perhaps this very day 
Thy last accepted time may be ; 

Oh ! should'st thou grieve Him now away, 
Then hope may never beam on thee. 



Lola Montez. 43 



The Last Resolve. 

Come, humble sinner, in whose breast 
A thousand thoughts revolve ; 

Come, with your guilt and fear oppressed, 
And make this last resolve : 

" I'll go to Jesus, though my sin 
Hath like a mountain rose ; 
I know His courts, I'll enter in, 
Whatever may oppose. 

" Prostrate I'll lie before His throne, 

And there my guilt confess ; 

I'll tell Him I'm a w r retch undone 

Without His sovereign grace. 

" I'll to the gracious King approach, 
Whose sceptre pardon gives ; 
Perhaps He may command my touch, 
And then the suppliant lives. 

" Perhaps He will admit my plea, 
Perhaps will hear my prayer ; 
But if I perish, I will pray, 
And perish only there. 

" I can but perish if I go, 
I am resolved to try ; 
For if I stay away, I know 
I must forever die." 



44 Lola Monies 



The Dying Thief. 

There is a fountain filled with blood, 
Drawn from Immanuel's veins, 

And sinners plunged beneath that flood 
Lose all their guilty stains. 

The dying thief rejoiced to see 

That fountain in his day ; 
And there may I, though vile as he, 

Wash all my sins away. 

Dear dying Lamb, Thy precious blood 

Shall never lose its power, 
Till all the ransomed Church of God 

Be saved, to sin no more. 

E'er since by faith I saw the stream 

Thy flowing wounds supply, 
Redeeming love has been my theme, 

And shall be till I die. 

Then in a nobler, sweeter song, 

I'll sing thy power to save, 
When this poor lisping, stamm'ring tongue 

Lies silent in the grave. 

Lord, I believe Thou hast prepared, 

L T nworthy though I be, 
For me a blood-bought, rich reward, 

A golden harp for me. 



Lola Montez. 45 

'Tis strung, and tuned for endless years, 

And formed by power divine, 
To sound in God the Father's ears 

No other name but Thine. 



The Good Shepherd. 

I was a wandering sheep, 

I did not love the fold, 
I did not love my Shepherd's voice, 

I would not be controlled. 

I was a wayward child, 

I did not love my home, 
I did not love my Father's voice, 

I loved afar to roam. 

The Shepherd sought His sheep, 
The Father sought His child, 

They followed me o'er vale and hill, 
O'er desert waste and wild. 

He found me nigh to death, 
Famished and faint and lone ; 

He bound me with the bands of love, 
He saved the wandering one. 



46 Lola Montez. 

He washed my filth away, 
He made me clear and fair, 

He brought me to my home in peace, 
The long-sought wanderer. 

Jesus my shepherd is, 

'Twas He that loved my soul, 

'Twas He that washed me in His blood, 
'Twas He that made me whole. 

'Twas He that sought the lost, 

That found the wandering sheep, 
'Twas He that brought me to the fold, 

'Tis He that still doth keep. 

- 

I was a wandering sheep, 
I would not be controlled ; 

But now I love the Shepherd's voice, 
I love, I love the fold. 

I was a wayward child, 

I once preferred to roam ; 
But now I love my Father's voice, 

I love, I love His home. 



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